Little Boy Logan’s Mommy

To my little boy Logan, 

At times it feels so long ago,
Though it seems but yesterday.
That you closed your eyes in dreamless sleep,
And I put your toys away.

My other two boys have left the nest
And have a life of their own.
In my house, where you used to play,
Is empty now, I live here all alone.

No, not alone; for I feel you here.
With your smile of winsome joy;
The others have grown and gone,
But you are the same little laughing boy.

'And if I go, while you're still here...
Know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure
behind a thin veil you cannot see through.

You will not see me,
so you must have faith.

I wait for the time when
we can soar together again,
both aware of each other.

Until then, live your life to its fullest
and when you need me,
just whisper my name in your heart,
...I will be there.'

hope is like a candle flame,
it flickers now and then,
sometimes we all need help to see,
the strength that lies within.

for life's not always easy,
we're bound to have some sorrow,
but hope can keep us going,
for a better day tomorrow.

so when you light this candle,
and the flame is burning bright,
may the angels bring you hope,
and turn the darkness into light.

thank you steven & nessa for this beautiful gift!

Where Does Mommy Keep Her Memories?

Where does mommy keep her memories?

In a box worn beyond repair,

Tucked inside are memories,

Ask and she will gladly share.

Tattered valentines “to mommy with love”

Nestled at the bottom, rests an old glove.

Stickers boasting “Super & Job Well Done”

Crayon drawings of the “banana” moon and sun.

Macaroni shells that once formed a flower,

The flashlight used when we always lost “power”.

A baby picture smudged with kisses,

Cards “signed” by Logan with loving wishes.

The ring he was to give to “Mary Jane”,

Bubba’s yearbook that he left out in the rain.

A Baby book containing his first lock of hair,

The camouflage jacket that he loved to wear.

Where does mommy keep her memories?

In a box this precious cargo rests.

Reminders she will cherish and keep safely,

This box of love is her treasure chest.

Then there are those memories everywhere you look,

Adorning every wall, are pictures that we took.

Outside are the gator and the trampoline,

Handprints everywhere in meemaw’s Vaseline.

Marks on the wall where we measured his height,

The sandals he broke from having “too tight”.

On the shelf sits the “big pea-corn” that he so proudly found,

Along with the “whistles” that he’d try to make sound.

Everywhere you look is a memory

Of my little angel, Logan Zackary.

He will be with us forever,

In our hearts, live his memory.
 love, mommy

one night i cried to jesus
as i sat beneath the tree,
i looked into the open sky
and hoped he'd answer me.
i'm lost, dear Lord, I've traveled
far, but i still seem to roam,
please light the way and lead me,
Lord; i need to get back home.
i told him of my burdens and
of the sadness in my heart,
that from his gracious love
i'd never felt so apart.
why did you take my logan,
lord? i cannot understand!
i am angry, lord, i'm missing
him, i'm immersed in my sorrow,
please help to heal my yesterday
and face each new tomorrow.
it was then i heard his gentle
voice and felt his presence near,
how i wanted to hold him as
i cried another tear.
he said, mommy, i'm an angel
now, my spirit will be free,
i'm an angel now in heaven
so please don't cry for me.
i was chosen by jesus above
and now i'm in his care,
when you need me,
look inside your heart,
i promise to be there.

 
Logan is a beautiful little Angel-
I am so sorry for all your pain.
Remember he is happy, safe and being
cared for by the BEST!

YBereaved Parents Wish List Y

 I wish my child hadn't died. I wish  I had him back.
Y
I wish you wouldn't be afraid to speak my child's name. My child
lived and was very important to me. I need to hear that he was
important to you also.
Y
If I cry and get emotional when you talk about my child, I wish you
knew that it isn't because you have hurt me. My child's death is the
cause of my tears. You have talked about my child and you have
allowed me to share my grief. I thank you for both.
Y
Being a bereaved parent is not contagious, so I wish you wouldn't
shy away from me. I need you now more than ever.
Y
I need diversions, so I do want to hear about you, but I also want
you to hear about me. I might be sad and I might cry, but I wish you
would let me talk about my child; my favorite topic of the day.
Y
I know that you think of and pray for me often. I also know that my
child's death pains you too. I wish you would let me know these
things through a phone call, a card or note, or a real big hug.
Y
I wish you wouldn't expect my grief to be over. These first years
are traumatic for me, but I wish you could understand that my grief
will never be over. I will suffer the death of my child until the day
I die.
Y
I am working hard in my recovery, but I wish you could understand
that I will never fully recover. I will always miss my child and I
will always grieve that she/he is dead.
Y
I wish you wouldn't expect me "not to think about it" or "be
happy". Neither will happen for a very long time, so don't frustrate
yourself.
Y
I don't want to have a "Pity party", but I do wish you would let me
grieve. I must hurt before I can heal.
Y
I wish you understood how my life has shattered. I know it is
miserable for you to be around me when I'm feeling miserable. Please
be as patient with me as I am with you.
Y
When I say, "I'm doing okay", I wish you could understand that I
don't "feel" okay and that I struggle daily.
Y
I wish you knew that all of the grief reactions I'm having are very
normal. Depression, anger, hopelessness and overwhelming sadness are
all to be expected. So please excuse me when I'm quiet and withdrawn
or irritable and cranky.
Y
Your advice to "take it one day at a time" is excellent advice.
However, a day is too much and too fast for me right now. I wish you
could understand that I'm doing good to handle an hour at a time.
Y
Please excuse me if I seem rude, certainly not my intent. Sometimes
the world around me goes too fast and I need to get off. When I walk
away, I wish you would let me find a quiet place to spend time alone.
I wish you understood that grief changes people. When my child died,
a big part of me died with her/him. I am not the same person I was
before my child died and I will never be that person again.
Y
I wish very much that you could understand ~ understand my loss and
my grief. But, I pray daily that you will never understand.
YYYYYYYYYYYY
--Poem from  Compassionate Friends.

Dear Logan, My Love is With You

Oh, dear Logan, what can I say?
My heart aches for you each and every day.
I miss you so very much, my sweetheart,
I never dreamed you & I would ever be apart.
The angel wings you wear must be so grand,
if only I could reach out and touch your little hand.
I'd ask God for a favor, as I'm pulling you to me tight,
to please lend me "My Logan" for just another night.
I'd caress your cheeks and sing to you lullabies,
you looking up at me with those beautiful blue eyes.
And in your sweet little voice, you'd begin to say,
"Mommy, don't be sad, you'll see me again some day,
I've made a lot of friends here and I play all the time.
I'm so happy here mommy, all I see is sunshine!
Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, of something else that I do,
you'll never have to worry, I'm always watching over you.
You tell me you love me and it's time for you to go,
I give you one last kiss with the comfort that I know,
you are safe with Jesus and as happy as can be.
My heart smiles just knowing you are a part of me!
What a precious gift I was given from up above,
sharing you with me, taught me the true meaning of love.
You will live in my heart forever,
and I will try to be strong,
because, dear Logan, in my heart is where you belong.
I love you Logan, sleep well, my son.

love,
MoMMy

ONE MORE HUG
To My Darling Logan,

"One more hug, one more kiss"
You always asked me.

Each time you left,
I always knew,
Your darling face I would see.

Oh, how much I miss
Your hugs,
Your sweet little kiss.

But most of all my darling,
It's YOU I miss.

My Love is with you!
Mee-Maw
(hugs & kisses forever)